Monday, September 22, 2014

Dear Mr. Dear Mrs.

Dear as a word had a different meaning in my student days. One would actually think if the person was dear before addressing him/her so. A friend of mine from who after passing out from a premier institute joined a big consultancy firm as his first job. These firms in big metro cities have plush offices which have plush conference rooms which have HR’s speaking and talking very cordially during the introductory sessions. My friend was emotionally surcharged in his introductory session. Immediately after the session they were provided laptops. The first mail he received was from his female HR which started as ‘Dear Mr…….’. He told me later that he was so taken in by this address that he smoked double his normal quota of cigarettes that day. The poor soul had completely misunderstood his HR’s intentions.

Recently Mr X and Mrs Y exchanged few emails. Mr X is a housing agent in a posh society in Mumbai whereas Mrs Y is a tenant in one of the apartments. Their mail exchanges were short and primarily related to the issue of non-payment of rent by Mrs Y for the last month. Let me add that both of them have had a pretty cold relationship since Mrs Y has rented the apartment sometime back this year. The email exchange is produced below:

Dear Mrs. Y
Subject line: Urgent
Your payment of 30k as monthly rent is pending. You are required to pay the money in the Housing agents office urgently.
Thanks,
X

Dear Mr. X
I have already spoken to the owner and he is fine with paying the two months’ rent together at the end of this month. Will do it for sure. Thanks for reminding.
Thanks,
Y

Dear Mrs. Y
The society is undergoing maintenance work and is in need of funds. Kindly request you to cooperate and pay your rent as soon as possible. Thanks,
X

Dear Mr. X
I hope you read my previous mail properly. Kindly request you to read it again. I WILL PAY THE RENT AT THE END OF THIS MONTH. Thanks,
Y

Dear Mrs. Y
We have been repeatedly telling you to pay your dues. There are other applicants for your apartment. So don’t pressurize us anymore.
Thanks,
X

Dear Mr. X
What do you mean there are other applicants and how have I been pressurizing you?
Thanks,
Y

Dear Mrs. Y
The landowner is out of the country so we are not able to reach him. When I had talked to him sometime he didn’t tell me anything related to this. Your non-payment will be considered seriously with him after his return. But for now we need to get money to clean the drainage sewer in the society. Pay urgently.
Thanks,
X

Dear Mr. X
I am not sure whether you are reading my mails. But I can’t pay you this month. I hope the maintenance work and drainage cleaning are not affected by the absence of my small rental charges.
Thanks,
Y

Dear Mrs. Y
This is against the rules of the contract.
Thanks,
X

Dear Mr. X
Put the contract up your *s*    ***h***. Thanks,
Y

Dear Mrs. Y
I belong to a good family but have been forced to write this because of your indecent behaviour. Shut up **t**.
Thanks,
X

X and Y definitely do not find each other dear in the sense it is generally known. They also seem to thank each other for something that is not very clear. 


3 comments:

Anonymous said...

funny :)

Jayanti Bhasker said...

Dear Mr. Bhasker, your point of view ? :D

Avi said...

Dear Sid

This was ;) :P

Avi