Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Are busy people lonely?

It is said that people are lonely inside, that man is alone. This doesn’t sound true. With the number of whatsapp groups, facebook posts, friends and family around, loneliness seems the last thing a human, who is middle class and above would encounter. Yet, one cannot deny the hypothesis altogether.

Are so many associations we make because we feel lonely? Deep down that could be the case. Not everybody would fall in this category. Some would more than the others. Who are the ones who are lonelier? I have no index to measure. But as a clown could be the saddest, the busiest could be the loneliest.

Ruskin Bond felt lonely after his father died. He was with his mother’s family with his half brothers, yet the feeling did not leave him. When he was with his father, who would go out for work in the day, he did not write of a feeling of loneliness even though he spent a good deal of time alone.

Some people feel lonely when their partners leave. Lucky them! Others feel lonely when they are with their partners. What can be said of such a tricky situation except that the relationship better end! One could ask how you could feel lonely in the presence of a partner or a group or a family. Just listen to the conversation of drunkards at night and you will get a good deal of clarity.

Some people work out of habit. Like the women in joint family who rise up early, do their ablutions and get engaged in housework. They are dedicated to their work, no matter what happens. In the similar vein are people who are lucky to get the work of their liking. Like a rocket scientist whose childhood dream was to become one. Or a writer who can write full time. It is said that for them, there is no work. Their work is their life and they love it. I guess this class of people does not feel very lonely.

Others work to get away from their loneliness. They just can’t be with themselves or people around them. For them work is a way of getting away from their loneliness. They keep themselves busy. But my guess is these classes of people turn sad from the insides. One can notice they are not content. And such discontent shows in their work or their behavior. And unless they are very lucky they do not get rid of their loneliness. Sometimes they keep pets!

Do you have a choice what class to become? Most people (the first class can also keep pets by the way) would wish to be the first class. I would call them the lucky ones, who can do what they set out for. Others not so lucky try all kinds of things to get out of their loneliness. We have so many quotes telling us that we should do what we love. I guess the people who say this from experience know something we don’t. That doing what you love never gets you lonely.


Anonymous said...

kind of a tackling view: Loneliness is in relation to society. Being happy can be mapped to work, being lonely cannot.
I like your writings.

-a lucky-not-so-lucky ex student

Siddhartha said...

Yes society plays a major role, I agree. Actually after I wrote this, wished to put a disclaimer 'I do not agree to all the views expressed in this blog. Read at your own risk.'

Thanks for liking my writings ex student.