Five things not to do, to stop yourself from turning weird

People said that my friend X has turned weird. As far as I knew, he had been weird since I knew him. Only now has he stopped making an explicit effort to hide it. X suggested me five things not to do if I was not to turn weird. These are the five things I am sharing. These are purely the views of my friend, and because his context may be weird these may sound weird as well.

Don’t be honest: As far a possible stop being honest, X says. The best thing is to go the tangent way which means not being dishonest as well but discussing things which only touch the subject line and can give some messages. Another way he told me was to be formal, very formal so that the other person does not have any option to go tangent. The reason being if you become honest outright, the other person may take advantage of it.

Don’t be independent: Very dangerous. You may lose your job, your girlfriends and will piss off many people in your way if you like to think independently. And the most important thing is that if you are honestly independent then you can lose a number of good opportunities of ‘growing’ in life. Both good and bad things bind you, says X. So never be Ray Charles Robinson when his mother says to him in the movie Ray “You ain’t no cripple.” Be a cripple, be dependent.

Never show that you are peaceful: this is for sure going to be the envy of many people around you. As they have landed themselves up in a mess, and their soul is drowned in chaos you would be the sugary syrup for them. They are for sure going to take a dip and try and get themselves all sweet and peaceful. So if somebody tells you that his life is a mess and blah blah, the first thing either avoid that person or as a defence mechanism, invent things in your life that are chaotic as well.

Don’t fall in love: Until you are sure that the subject of your love is also in love with you which, of course, is a very difficult task. On prodded further X was reluctant to divulge any more details but he did say that falling in one-sided love can turn you so weird that it will alienate even your close ones. In a very soft voice, he warned me that if you fall in love with more than the person at the same time then that’s suicide.

Always keep your room clean: A clean room belongs to a weird person; he told me. He was still thinking about the explanation before I ran away from his room. I was full till then.

X for sure is weird.